Random things on my mind right now....

I'm ready for warmer weather - I want new cookware - I hope John figures out what he wants to do for Prom and I hope it turns out well for him - Lexi told me she doesn't understand me sometimes...and I wish I could explain myself so she did - I need to workout today - I want to eat at Qdoba today - Progress has been slow this week - That paperwork is not going to finish itself - Finding a new place to live isn't much fun when I don't really want to move - Gary and Bonnie have been married 40 years now...amazing - I miss my dad and just want him to tell me what to do - My coat doesn't smell like maple syrup anymore - I wish I could go to Gracen's 1st Birthday party - I would like to see my family - I wish I was better at maintaining friendships...I could use a friend or two right now - John's room is a wreck - I need to call Stacey and find out if Garrett wants all of John's old stuff...otherwise I will be mailing it to Landrum - Really? More Snow? - I'm addicted to these cooking show but I rarely make anything new - My mother hasn't called in two weeks...that is odd and it makes me wonder what is wrong with her now - I have 76 unread emails - I am going to start watching Deadwood Season 1 this weekend - I want new clothes but I want to lose weight before I buy them - Lexi needs new t-shirts so maybe we will hit the mall this weekend...trying to avoid Hollister - I miss Stacey's kids - Divorce sucks - Thank God for Unemployment - I wonder how Landrum's doctor appointment went yesterday - Yoga is harder than it looks - People are funny creatures - Not having daily interaction with people has made me leery of daily interaction with people.

Change...

I'm ready for change.

"Build upon strengths, and weaknesses will gradually take care of themselves."
---Joyce C. Lock

I love that quote. For so long it seems like I have been focused on fixing my mindset. Well, now I'm going to start getting physical with my change.

A few weeks ago I started the process of purging my house. A person never realizes how much STUFF they own until the sorting begins. That is so true in my case. There were so many things in closets and cabinets I simply didn't need...or even use. So far I have completely cleaned out the laundry room, hall bathroom, and hall closet. It is a really a great feeling to get rid of stuff. This week I need to tackle the kitchen, master bedroom, and master bathroom. The thought of the kid's room is a bit daunting...especially John's room. His closet contains just about every action figure EVER made, 1000 Star Wars "things", four million animals (I'm pretty sure during his childhood he received every animal planet package available at Toy's R Us), and more WWE junk than 5 boys need. Lexi's room is much better. The Barbies and Pollypockets have been put away for several years...now her room is filled with many books and random journals. The clothes will be the biggest obstacle in her room...I can't really sort that stuff without her. In my room I have about 8 bags of clothes I need to donate. I'm wondering if it is even worth it to keep anything I wore when I was much smaller...probably not. It is kind of depressing to see it...like a daily reminder I am many sizes bigger than I was five years ago. On that note...

I really want to lose weight. REALLY. Ideally, I would like to lose about 40 pounds...but I'm not sure at 36 if I will get back to what I weighed at 30. So...I'm going to put a goal of losing 25 pounds out in the universe. I sit and watch The Biggest Loser every week...generally with a plate of Chinese food or something just as bad for me. Nice. I need to get up and move more. I started doing some basic workouts last week but I need to get into a dedicated routine. I ordered a new plan...Ten Minute Workouts by Tony Horton. Those should be here later this week. I'm very excited about these. I also ordered The Biggest Loser cookbook. Cooking for two (it is Lexi and me at home most of the time) is challenging...not to mention my daughter is a pretty picky eater. We shall see where that goes. She got me one of Jillian Michael's books for Christmas and seemed up to trying some of her recipes (Ummmm....no, I never made them) so maybe if I get her involved in the process she will buy in.

Now, those two things are pretty big...organizing and losing weight. I need to find my strengths within myself and use them to motivate!! The sad thing is I'm REALLY good at ordering in Chinese, building the perfect burrito at Qdoba, and sitting around. I need to flip that mindset completely.

What are my strengths? What are my weaknesses? I need to work on those lists...mainly the strengths. I need to take my "before" pics. All I can really control in this world is my attitude, my actions, and my hair color...and I really want to make the most of this life. I'm tired of the same stuff every day. I want to LIVE life and not just survive it.

I'm ready for change!!!

Random things I would like to say to people...

You are more than you give yourself credit for.
It doesn't bother me that you don't like me...just stop being childish and rude.
Someday you will realize how much I really do care about you.
You have the most beautiful eyes I've ever seen.
I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you. I really am sorry.
I miss you...we should do better at keeping in touch.
No. I'm not even laughing on the inside.
Keep your head up!!
Choices last forever, trust me. Go with your gut.
Where did you go? I haven't seen you in FOREVER.
You are right, I am not a good friend to everyone...but I try in the ways I know.
I do not have the energy to keep up with your drama.
I do not feel like a victim so don't look at me with pity.
What are your intentions? What is it that you want? Will you ever know?
Yes, I do believe I will have one more gin sour. Thank You!
I love you. I really, really love you.
It isn't all about you. Get over yourself.
You are too good for him.
I wonder what you will do when this ends?
Thank you for being such a good friend to me...
Why do you have to be so difficult? Seriously. Is it that hard to be a decent person?
You break my heart everytime....

It's been awhile...

I haven't blogged (or listed) in quite some time. I've been in a different kind of space lately and haven't felt much like sharing anything going through this head of mine. Hopefully that will be changing.

The past four or five months have been quite eventful for me. I've experienced so much change it really sent my world in a spin. Don't get me wrong...it is all for the good. One thing I have definitely learned lately is when thing happen it may seem like the world is ending...but in reality, once a person has time to process the events, it can be very exciting and possibly the best thing to ever happen.

I'm on an adventure...and I'm driving.